I think, therefore I am

...or however that phrase goes. Hey - was looking around some other blog sites and found a really cool one: tattertedcoat.com. Guy named Rod wrote a great piece about how much he loves grocery shopping. It was so entertaining to read - to kinda get in his head, so to speak. He's quite articulate - not to mention clever. Another fun one is "it's recess time somewhere" or some such. I still don't know how to read a lot of the "anon" ones - ones I don't know about, but maybe I'll pick a few keywords and search. Any tips about this?

And I gotta tell you - I stay away from politics because I'm not current enough with the news to sound intelligent. And you guys know how I like to sound intelligent! :) I used to be so ready with an argument, huh. My brain's on vacation for a while. Plus, I've "lost my cherry" so to speak, over politics. I used to believe Government had our greater good in mind (can you say gullible), but ever since Clinton, Monica, Bush, the never-ending war, etc., I don't believe anything anymore. But I still read up on shit and vote. Old habits die hard. Actually, I vote out of respect for those Americans who died to ensure I have that right. Hey - that was political, huh.

All I know is Uncle Arnie (Gov in CA) is fucking the schools, and apparently, OR's gov (whomever that is) has the same agenda. Tom something, I think. He says he's streamlining things. Whatever. All I know is he's busing people around to different schools 'cause the ones they've gone to in the past are closing. So that's my political extent. All I can say is I'm glad (for once) that I don't have kids. Public schools today scare me. Teachers awe me.

I'm bored

Okay, okay, I'll finally admit it. I'm bored. FUCKING bored. I miss my friends! And I can only watch Jackie Brown so many times. Well, maybe once more - after all, it IS raining outside. Hey - maybe I should read a book - use my brain. Why not. You know what they say, "use it or lose it." I'm already somewhat brain dead, I really shouldn't be helping it along, huh. Okay - a book it is. Maybe I'll take a glass class, like P. That sounds fun. I'd like to make a stained glass window - that would be cool.

What a disappointment

Just drove South to Keizer OR (by Salem) to check out the Single A baseball farm team for the SF Giants. The team is called the Volcanoes. Anyway, drove out there for a lookie-lou. Profoundly disappointing. The stadium is small, right off Hiway 5 so it's noisy, the games are all at night, and I didn't find anything fun to do around the area. Drove into Salem - pretty houses, but again, didn't find any adventures. I'll prolly still go to a Volcanoes game, especially now that I know where the stadium is, but it's no PacBell Park - or even the SJ Giants AAA stadium by SJ State. I had no idea I was so spoiled living in the Bay Area, CA.

Giants kick ass

Hey - Giants whupped those sorry-ass Dodgers yesterday at MLB's Opening Day in SF! Wish I could have been there.

Fear Factor

What a load of crap - I'd do just about any "event" or whatever 'cause it's not like they'll let you die or anything.... (But the ratings would go sky high. Hmmm.) It's mostly crap! Whaddya think?

oh what a day

Hello everyone - hey - Jackie Brown is out on DVD! Bought it today, watched it again with the "trivia stuff' on. Interesting. I love DVDs! So much cooler than VHS tapes, huh.

My gardner, Pony Boy, helped me put up a new light over the porch today. Man, is that fucker bright! All you criminals, get the fuck outta here - I'll shoot you, questions will be asked later. "Hey Larry, is that you?" Whatever.

Haven't seen too much of Ray XXX these days. Life and family calls. Man, that sucks. But... whaddya expect? Drove to Mt. Hood last Saturday. Wow - it was beautiful. But I shudda driven the 4-wheel drive, vs. the Beetle, 'cause there was a lot of snow on the ground and I needed a 4x4. Oh well. I'll go again. Tomorrow, I'm thinking of going to Keizer, OR to check out the single-A farm team for the SF Giants. I obviously miss baseball a bit. That team, the Volcanoes, doesn't play until June - after college ball lets out for the year. Whatever. I can't wait! Talk to you all soon -jj

PS - JOEL - GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SURGERY - YOU ARE ON MY MIND! HEAL QUICKLY! I LOVE YOU - JENNY

I love blogging

I love vicodin! My back pain has started to subside. Of course, now that I feel better, I've gone back to moving and carrying boxes of ...books! But I swear I'm stopping now. Really. I've stopped.

Hey wait - one more box won't matter, will it? Seriously - I'm through for the day. But I made some great progress. Hmmmm - happiness as a result of pain. Is this my personal hair shirt - I can't rest until my house is perfect? Now that's fucked up.

Have you guys noticed I love blogging almost every little thing that comes to mind? The really cool part is that I can write whatever, whenever I want to - and no one has to read it or listen to me chatter on endlessly. That, to me, is a good thing.

Hey you Bloggers - I need help

I'm so irritated. I'm finding many editorial and/or grammatical errors in my postings. And I won't even mention my punctuation mishaps. But I don't know how to fix 'em. Any suggestions? (I've read the Edit-Me link shit - I don't really understand.) Thanks in advance - jj

Great phrase

I just read the greatest phrase (by Harlan Coben, The Final Detail) ..the grass was tall enough to go on the adult rides at Six Flags... loving this - hope I can use it someday!

Oh, my aching back

Hey - Patti just called. Thank goodness. As always, great to chat with her. I'm missing her a lot.

But one of the best things about her phone call? It made me stop unpacking and sit down. I've been carrying boxes of books upstairs, downstairs, everywhere. I did put on my back brace - but too late! Fucking hurts. Thank God for the fusion on my L5 - if it wasn't there already, I'd probably need one after this crap. I'm almost done - my living room has almost been emptied of boxes and is almost ready to enjoy. Whoo Hooo!

Fucking books. Why couldn't I collect something like dust bunnies? Oh yeah - I already have a vast collection of those.

HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, ZAC! LOTS OF HUGS TO YOU. I'd add kisses, but to a 10-year-old, those just aren't cool - yet. Love you, Zac - jenny

Beautiful Rain

What a perfect weekend, filled with - yep, you guessed it - rain. Lots and lots of beautiful rain. Wore coats, hats, gloves. Loved it! Okay, I prolly looked like a dork, but I fit it. On Friday afternoon, went into downtown - just to get out of the house - and dropped in to Momo's. (Good Friday, and I went to a bar.) Sat in the front window to people watch. Grinned at everyone and waved at a few. Most folks looked away, embarrassed, but some smiled and waved back. Oh the fun I make, huh. Wore my brown leather cowboy hat - it was raining, remember? Asked two guys at the bar if I looked like a guy in the hat. They both said "no." They didn't even hesitate. Excellent. The bartender said I looked very "Northwest." Cool, huh. Had a shot of Irish and a couple of black coffees. My big day out - whoo hoo.

Did some more unpacking and decorating the house this weekend. Why? 1. Needed to, and 2. It was raining! I'm happy with my efforts. I look around this place and just grin. More books to unpack today. I wish I had some help in hanging stuff on the walls. Everything is prolly too high and crooked. Anyone interested in coming to Portland to help me out? Lemme know.

Hoppy Easter

Hey - it's Easter today. Slept in late, finally got up and made coffee! Hey, I haven't made coffee since Patti, Clayton and Jackie were here to visit 2 weeks ago. I am so lazy. Rather go to bucks for a cuppa. Anywho - made coffee and whipped up some 1/2 and 1/2 to mix in. Tastes specially great. That's my Easter treat for today.

Hey - doesn't anyone read this shit? WTF - no comments? Am I writing bits that are too long? C'mon, I'm lonely here.

a partial poem

"I think, I know, I'm smart but still I smoke."

Can't remember the rest of it, right now. Wrote poetry for the first time in 2003, I think. Actually enjoyed it. Maybe it's not great poetry - it's sad and kinda bitter, but I liked what I wrote. Another fav of mine has the phrase "little dick boy." Something about some guychild revving up his penis-car to get attention. Maybe it's time to get my class notes out so I can post entire poems.

how pathetic, huh

Hey - I've just re-read my previous blogs and have come to the conclusion that I sound pretty fucking pathetic. "He even kisses me." Oh brother. How sad that kissing is such a new, welcome activity for me. Cuddling is sorely missed, as well. Highly underrated - or undiscussed, perhaps. I'm not even gonna talk about the other stuff. All I know is I deserve some basic happinesses. And I'm gonna get me some. Fuck the world. Hey wait - I don't mean that literally.

Sprezzatura

musings

More shit from JJ

3/22/05
Went to Papa John’s joint for pizza. Sounded like a nice change. Anywho – went in there, noticed the menu selections were different, ordered a grilled chicken breast with Alfredo sauce. I figured if I was going to eat pizza, eat a fattening one! I ordered, and told the cashier chick I was pre-heating my oven. She smiled and looked indifferent. I get that a lot. But sometimes – a lot of times actually – people do engage me in inane conversation – usually started by me. Twelve minutes later, my pizza was done. I questioned the box it was in – didn’t look like the plastic wrapped raw pie I was expecting. I remarked on this and the chick said "we cook our pizzas." I said "get outta here – really?" I even checked the pizza inside the box. What a dork I am.

The chick rang me up – and I said "I thought this was a take ‘n bake. Back in California Papa John’s doesn’t cook your pizza for you. And here I have my oven all ready at home." She still looked at me like I was crazy and said "you’re thinking of Papa Murphy’s – they do the take ‘n bake pizzas." Well hit me on the head and call me shorty. I was so embarrassed. No wonder she thought I was nuts. But what the hell – I’m just a drone sometimes. Papa Murphy’s. Guess I haven’t paid enough attention to the marketing plan. Either that, or the plan sucks. I prefer to think the latter is true, of course. But the pizza was good. I added some cooked bacon and some garlic sauce and reheated it in said oven. Yummy. Got a little dried out, but I didn’t care. Smoked some weed and chowed. Good thing the pot is almost gone ‘cause it gives me the munchies – and my waistline doesn’t need any help in expanding.

3/24/05
What a beautiful day today. Grey, overcast, sprinkles of rain, and a hot bed. Yep, Ray again – afternoon delight. Yummy, yummy. I want more. Of course. Oh well – it was less intimidating, more relaxed, definitely more sexy. Whoa, girl. Down boy – he’s definitely a willing participant. I wore my new red lingerie with a thong. Looked good (unfuckingbelieveable – Jenny in a thong in "public"), but felt better as Ray took it off. Hey – he liked it. Good thing he’s a boob man, ‘cause I’ve got a pair. Oh who’s zooming who, here. He’s an "everything" man – he even kisses me during.

Can’t help myself. I am having a lapse of confidence in marriage these days. I lost the love of my hope when Chuck and I divorced. I feel like I followed all the "rules" but it didn’t get me far. Just to the Justice department for a date stamp. Cynical, but that’s how I feel. Being married is Ray’s situation. Not mine. Okay, I am partially responsible, being the seductress (!) that I am, but still – he could say "no." So could I, but what the hell – he’s gorgeous. I’m playing Gimme, Gimme right now. When will this attitude change? Dunno - this might be the new, selfish me. Like I said, following rules didn’t get me no satisfaction, so I’m trying another path. So far, it’s been fun, but I definitely think this will be a short-term abberation. I'm too selfish to share anyone.