More shit from JJ

3/22/05
Went to Papa John’s joint for pizza. Sounded like a nice change. Anywho – went in there, noticed the menu selections were different, ordered a grilled chicken breast with Alfredo sauce. I figured if I was going to eat pizza, eat a fattening one! I ordered, and told the cashier chick I was pre-heating my oven. She smiled and looked indifferent. I get that a lot. But sometimes – a lot of times actually – people do engage me in inane conversation – usually started by me. Twelve minutes later, my pizza was done. I questioned the box it was in – didn’t look like the plastic wrapped raw pie I was expecting. I remarked on this and the chick said "we cook our pizzas." I said "get outta here – really?" I even checked the pizza inside the box. What a dork I am.

The chick rang me up – and I said "I thought this was a take ‘n bake. Back in California Papa John’s doesn’t cook your pizza for you. And here I have my oven all ready at home." She still looked at me like I was crazy and said "you’re thinking of Papa Murphy’s – they do the take ‘n bake pizzas." Well hit me on the head and call me shorty. I was so embarrassed. No wonder she thought I was nuts. But what the hell – I’m just a drone sometimes. Papa Murphy’s. Guess I haven’t paid enough attention to the marketing plan. Either that, or the plan sucks. I prefer to think the latter is true, of course. But the pizza was good. I added some cooked bacon and some garlic sauce and reheated it in said oven. Yummy. Got a little dried out, but I didn’t care. Smoked some weed and chowed. Good thing the pot is almost gone ‘cause it gives me the munchies – and my waistline doesn’t need any help in expanding.

3/24/05
What a beautiful day today. Grey, overcast, sprinkles of rain, and a hot bed. Yep, Ray again – afternoon delight. Yummy, yummy. I want more. Of course. Oh well – it was less intimidating, more relaxed, definitely more sexy. Whoa, girl. Down boy – he’s definitely a willing participant. I wore my new red lingerie with a thong. Looked good (unfuckingbelieveable – Jenny in a thong in "public"), but felt better as Ray took it off. Hey – he liked it. Good thing he’s a boob man, ‘cause I’ve got a pair. Oh who’s zooming who, here. He’s an "everything" man – he even kisses me during.

Can’t help myself. I am having a lapse of confidence in marriage these days. I lost the love of my hope when Chuck and I divorced. I feel like I followed all the "rules" but it didn’t get me far. Just to the Justice department for a date stamp. Cynical, but that’s how I feel. Being married is Ray’s situation. Not mine. Okay, I am partially responsible, being the seductress (!) that I am, but still – he could say "no." So could I, but what the hell – he’s gorgeous. I’m playing Gimme, Gimme right now. When will this attitude change? Dunno - this might be the new, selfish me. Like I said, following rules didn’t get me no satisfaction, so I’m trying another path. So far, it’s been fun, but I definitely think this will be a short-term abberation. I'm too selfish to share anyone.